Long time no see

It’s extremely cold today and i am fed up with this weather as well as many things happen today…
i thought of him with an unconscious mind and don’t feel much. i think he will never reminisce a  single picture of mine in his head in any way or on any occasion.

it’s disheartening to realize that things are getting worse and only you can feel it. you cannot describe that feeling to anyone.
We’ve gone off each other? Let see.. not really
Is that i want to see him or it’s that we are not feeling anything anymore?
i see him as a friend, a soul-mate now

He’s considerate and a good listener but can never think in my way, especially through the telephone, after a wild and fun day with his so-called friends..
I just think she’s a bad guy type of person and she deserves some lessons in order to grow up. 

I don’t know, they are nothing. But they can actually spend time together, so happily, even in a weird way.
I imagine how it would be like a year later when i live there. Any friend that suits me and go out in the evening to a romantic place and just watch? No, not really. Quite tired of the girls i met all the time.
There always exist an expectation that he will go out with me, but he doesnt have much money, i am afraid he wouldn’t like my personality at that time.

All those thoughts scare me ! I dont wanna lose anything but why it’s so far away from me? – a happiness that i used to own and enjoy everyday…?

And in the future, what else will happen? Will i be controlled by my instinct? It’s so crazy..

Always wish things to be alright, but it’s just so not. so NOT…

there was a light in my heart and a heartache came afterward.
i wish, then it blurred and withered, from my own expectations..

Why am i so sentimental? These days it’s all about English and whatsoever.
It’s been the same feelings that overwhelm me last year, at this point too. When we had faced some waves, some other people that i really hate…

I wish we could use eye-contact again. It’s so easy to tell. The feelings you have will be seen through and understood not rationally like right now.

 

I miss the milk tea, the potato chips, the meals, the dates, the fun we had soooo much i cant let them out of my heavy heart. The same things are experienced by him with someone else. While …. i cycle alone home and get online immediately as if i had autism or something that only the internet can solve

That’s all.
I want a sleep, and a good night kiss

I want it all, but so impossible!>’po;/flsepv'[lntl;

Very fast

Today i feel quite good. it’s turning to winter and the weather seems to be so strangely comfortable.
Music kept me alive. I miss somebody and there are now so many plans ahead for me to arrange.

Somehow i have had the old connection and liking for my friends again.
Sometimes i don’t want to have any strings attached but at last everybody seems nice to me and so thoughtful of me (some too much!). I am sentimental and that can moves me somehow.

It’s nearly lunchtime now. 
My present self is quite ok by now. 

Let’s get out of facebook! I dont have any thing with it com’on! @.@
It’s hard to accept that i am partially addicted to sitting in front of the computer and surfing the net. 😦

Go eat now! Get away! :-q

6/11 insane thing

Something very short for today as it’s really late now.
So long i haven’t come back to the site, quite miss this.
I miss the good atmosphere at Keo pagoda and the cycling trip of us someday in the past. I think about it like crazy.
What if time were reversed and everything wouldn’t have happened at the first place?
That would never be reality so stop dreaming. The truth is harsh and you have to make decisions on your own

Bed time, bye!
😦