Butter?

🙂 haha. butter is the equivalent of a funny Vietnamese word. I have to “butter” somebody today. It’s been so frustrating I cannot keep up this thing anymore.
We need a good night sleep, and time to study. And also, for my little heart to straighten out and uncover things of the passed days.
 

Also, he has hidden somewhere! I cannot get in touch with him.
Wondering what has happened. But that doesnt matter much. I’ve got like tons of books to come by in the meantime. 

I can see how people care about my fragile heart while giving me those stories. It’s very very nice of them and i become very touched. When i am down, people surrounded me and lifted me up.

Honestly, i get a bit upset and was hoping things were bad to him. You know who. And i guess things are quite normal, monotonous and useless for him these days. It’s not hard to imagine all of those stuff.

I only want respect from those bitches. That’s all.

Recently i’ve been having an issue with Math actually. it’s hard and totally strange to me. Suffice it to say, my heart got tangled with piles and bunch of emotions, which are hard to get out of.

 So, what to do now? I’m being heavily buttered! >.< Maybe i’ll get no reply. maybe you’ve gone to sleep already. Maybe you’re being hard working. I hate this feeling. Such a crazy all-messed-up teenage crisis – a period i thought i’ve done away with long ago.

So funny, you messed up with my life, can;t you see that? >.<

Alright, suppress and stay calm, lady. We’ve got work to do later. 

Stay FOCUSED please.

Advertisements

10 days later

Every ending is a disguise of a new beginning…

Yeah you may now know it but i am giving my attention and affection for a person. He’s kinda kute. Really really kute. The kutest thing ever seen haha.

But not my love, please. It’s easy to like somebody. I don’t see any future with this guy. We are just getting along and talking… something like that.

His family is special. I want to know more about him before i get out of this school. 

And I can see that right now, there are many people out there for me. I feel nothing when thinking about him. It’s a blank. Even if i saw him, it would be much of pretending and phoney stuff.  I will prepare myself for a big letter. The last letter. I’m a letter writer and i still tried to improve that skill. It suits me well.

Maybe i’ve forgotten my diary for very very long now. Life has wiped me away. No time to think, to be sad, to have philosophy, to recap anything. I will turn to it one day, but not today.

A big exam has passed by and i dont know how things will be like. I mean, the results can be disastrous. It’s so tangled. I found that i’ve made quite a lot of errors to have a good result in the end.

And also. The singing competition. Before getting up on the stage, I had so much nerve. I’m scared. Who am I singing for? Somebody. You know who. 🙂
I couldnt believe my eyes when I saw both of them in the audience. It’s a big and so nice surprise for me. It always brings me close to tears whenever my affection is given back to me. It’s a re-filled heart, a heart that has lost so much. 

I think i’m quite happy now. I had something at last. It’s not material. It’s spiritual. It feels so good…

 

OK, have to go cooking now. Such a fun job. 
Bye bye, i’ll see you again someday, wordpress ♥

End

There’re a thousand ways for things to fall apart. There’s a million ways for things to break, to end, so foolishly. But you have learnt how to accept that fact. 

You know you will hurt yourself thinking about everything in a negative light. I cannot attract a person like that. Nothing could have happened. But it did. And somehow i am not regretful about that.

It’s a fact i must accept. I can cry for things like humanity, but not at things like this. I have to fix myself, my little heart.

Maybe i’ve mistaken someone. I don’t know. After many things, they may behave in a way that makes sense. Nothing like my way. Right.

I am like that. Someone who accepts me must understand that. 

But you should stop your nonsensical thinking right away! 

First of all, it’s so cold today. So long i haven’t written anything. I get bored of my own space and those memories. I’m about to get rid of that. I dont know. When will i be able to come back to that place? just wait. wait right there.

Until you know you can find passion in other things. Writing? contributing? English? another  language, that’s right.

You start it all over again.

Suddenly i realized. God gives me a lot and now he has taken just one thing from me, just to make me become much stronger.

Anyone has to go through things like this. I am no exception. It’s just things are much milder for me. I hope that he feels regretful someday, sometime. I know he still has a little me in him. We had something, a lot of things.

Now i must go to sleep. People are working hard out there. I am downright lazy. Please. That’s enough for your hanging around emotions and enjoying of life. Please. Be decisive. Be determined and rational. Much more.

 

I said baby, you’re not lost……….